This post is inspired by a conversation with a very good friend.
*I was given permission to share this post by my friend.
A friend of mine received some rather upsetting and stressful news this week regarding something that has a significant impact on him. A decision made by others as well as the ramifications of this decision are the sources of his anger and frustration. This is a person who is intelligent, fair-minded, hard-working, and successful. And, the injustice of this decision process as well as his perceived powerlessness is one of the reasons he is in such a negative state. He shared that he felt as if he’d been “kicked in the gut.” After some discussion, I learned that the initial decision was grounded in an endeavor to do “the right thing.” Although this decision was meant to be a positive change, it was not discussed and taken through proper and standard channels before being decided upon. Nevertheless, the decision was made. The galling part is how this decision is now being handled by others and the unfair impact on my friend and his peers. Understandably, my friend is in a funk and having a rather difficult time accepting this news. I listened and agreed with him regarding the injustice and unfairness of the matter. But then, I said, “You’ve got to accept this and let go of your toxic feelings about it. There’s no use wasting time and energy on something you can’t change.” I reminded him that he is not powerless and encouraged him to look at other options, which he has many. I did my cheerleader “rah-rah” bit, telling him that there’s a reason he’s a successful person on many levels. One of those reasons being that he is an intelligent, problem-solver—not a self-pitying wallower. And, sometimes, as the saying goes, challenges are really just blessings in disguise. I encouraged him once again to take his energy and channel it in a positive manner, focusing on what he could do–NOT on what was being done to him. Remember, I said playfully, “Winners aren’t wallowers!” He laughed…for the first time during our conversation and agreed to “get on with it.” So, my friend, this one is for you!! 🙂
“Never, never, never give up.”
“With just a little faith…if you put your mind to it, you can surely do it.”
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
~Henry David Thoreau