Listen, I know this has been addressed in many forums in various ways, but for the sake of my people’s collective sanity I’m going to add my voice to the fray.  And by “my people” I mean the incredibly large and diverse community of families that are considered “untraditional” for whatever reason.  Since my particular family grew through adoption these comments will be skewed toward that perspective, but I’m sure with a little effort they can be adapted to most any situation you encounter.  I truly believe we can do better than these awkward attempts at conversation, so I’m putting some suggestions out there.  (For my peeps who find themselves frequently rendered speechless by friends, family, or strangers — this is for you.)

Things it would be wise not to say to an adoptive parent:

• Adopted?  How wonderful!  He’s/She’s so lucky to have you!   Okay, I know some of you are thinking what’s wrong with that, the person…