Don’t Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

     I think someone once said that life is supposed to be challenging. Well, yes, the statement is true enough.  But, somehow, many of us believe that things should go smoothly a good part of the time.  Most of us work towards this end, and we count on it.  Then, when life goes awry, we’re upset, angry, and disappointed.  We dread challenges and vexation.  I’ll be the first to admit that I work very hard to keep my life on course. I’m an “all your ducks in a row” kinda girl.  I follow the rules, keep my word, and act decently–treating others as I would like to be treated.  I basically over-analyze most situations, teasing out the pros and cons before making a decision.  However, despite my good intentions and best efforts, challenging stuff still happens.

     Maybe, if we modified our view of challenging circumstances as a normal part of life, we wouldn’t be so surprised and upset when they occurred.  Also, what if we stopped interpreting the stuff that happens as positive or negative.  It’s happening, let’s try to accept it, and move through it.  You know, let’s stop judging the stuff.  Of course, this is easier said than done.  On the surface, some stuff looks pretty negative–even devastating at times. Which brings me to a quote by Elizabeth Gilbert that I absolutely love:  “Ruin is a gift.  Ruin is the road to transformation.” What if the challenges we’re facing are part of our journey and a bridge to where we need to go to become our best selves?  This is when we must have faith and believe in our ability to navigate challenging situations with strength, competence, and grace. After all, it’s when we’re knocked out of our comfort zones and challenged that we discover who we truly are and grow.

     You may be wondering where I’m going with all of this.  Well, like most everyone, I’ve been knocked out of my comfort zone a number of times in life, and it isn’t easy.  However, it’s during these challenging times that I’ve come to know myself better. I’ve learned more about my strengths, limitations, beliefs, priorities, courage, and……my humanity.  It’s in these moments that I’ve taken stock of what really matters, and I’m grateful for the relationships, experiences, and accomplishments I’m fortunate to have in my life.  Then I see that my challenges have been part of the journey.  And, if I changed any part of it, my life would be different, I would be different.

     So, perhaps as Ms. Gilbert says, ruin IS a gift—part of a higher power’s plan or the universe tweaking our course to ensure we’re heading in the right direction.  I’ve really come to embrace this idea.  I don’t believe in coincidences anymore.  I think the people we meet and the experiences we have are meant to be—meant to teach us something about ourselves and our places in the world.  There have been too many people and experiences that have come into my life that have been providential for me to think otherwise.

     Here’s the thing:  We’re so eager to identify something we deem positive as good fortune or a blessing.  But, what if the other stuff was something positive in disguise? What if EVERYTHING, whether positive or negative—every person, every experience, and every situation that came into our lives was a gift?  A gift that was meant to teach us something about ourselves.  Now, that would be something worth embracing!


  1. This comment is not meant to be preachy ok? I used to belong to a men’s christian breakfast group. One month we decided all of us would follow the instruction to count things all a blessing, and so we did. No complaining, look for the silver thread.

    It was an amazing and enlightening month for all of us. To this day, I try to use gratitude to shape my thoughts.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. What if everything, including the other stuff, was a positive in disguise? That is huge! I’m gonna get my head wrapped around that, because it’s good and it’s right. Thank you, Tonya.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We are a compilation of our experiences, good and bad. Sometimes I think the bad shapes and teaches us much more than the good, if we’re willing to listen and learn. But that’s sometimes difficult to do when times are tough. So you rely on your faith and look for the light when it shows its face. I hope you’re well Tonya and that life treats you with kindness..:)

    Liked by 1 person

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