The Other
*This is simply an account of a personal experience. I shall not debate any aspect of politics, religion, or cultural issues on this blog. Disrespectful comments will be deleted. Thank you.
Not too long ago, I visited a quaint town north of the Rappahannock River in Virginia—a place with lovely architecture, scenic views, upscale shops, galleries, and restaurants. One day, as I was exploring the town, I decided to go into one of the art galleries. I entered and exchanged a few niceties with the salesperson. Accustomed to tourists, she asked where I was from.
“Virginia,” I answered.
“What part of Virginia?” she probed.
“I live between Roanoke and Lynchburg,” I said.
To which she responded, “Oh, you’re from the other Virginia.”
Let me just say…..I knew what she meant. Her tone and facial expression conveyed arrogance and superiority. It was a comment that carried a negative connotation regarding a particular view of the political, religious, and cultural identities of people living south of the Rappahannock River–what some historians call the “grits line.”
I glanced in her direction and smiled. Because, y’all know in the other Virginia, many of us are taught the old adage: “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” So, I continued to walk around, viewing the artwork silently. As I made my way through the gallery, these questions crossed my mind. “Is she trying to be offensive? Or, bless her heart, is she merely stupid?” I asked, because most of us realize that stereotyping an entire region or group of people is not the best way to demonstrate one’s intelligence, education, state of enlightenment….or civility for that matter. Oh, and it’s probably not a good way to sell a painting, either.
Here’s the thing: Maybe it’s time we reconsider labels and preconceived ideas about one another, and instead, try embracing a little tolerance and civility as well as our shared humanity. Would it hurt? We may actually find that we like the “other.”
Yes, I’m from the other Virginia, and I’m just fine about it. And, it doesn’t have anything to do with politics, religion, or cultural issues. It’s simply for one reason….it’s home.
Categories: Photography, Reflections on Farm Life
she was just being a snot. you shoulda said “ohhhh … you’re one of them.” and then walked away.
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😉 Thanks, Jim.
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I’m 100% with you.
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Thank you.
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Wonderful photos Tonya!
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Thanks so much, Ritu. 😊
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You too Tonya!
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That kind of snobbery seems so out of place today. She’s living in another time and place, and it’s not a good one of either. It speaks to her own insecurity, I’d say. Good on you to just walk away. 💖
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Thank you, Van. 💛
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Such people are only miserable in their own way. We know better not to escalate a discussion.
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Very true.
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Psh, feel better, my mother’s family hails from Bonnie Blue, Virginia in Lee County. That’s coal country. I feel certain that if I tried to reclaim the ancestral home of my grandfather, at best it would be some of that reclaimed wood everyone goes on about. Perhaps enough to build a doghouse. If the clerk has to insult patrons to get that kind of rise, she must feel pretty lowly. Good for you walking away.
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I didn’t realize you have Virginia roots. 😊💛
Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful comment.
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Snobbishness is alive and well. I ran into it at a winery not too long ago when I went into their store to peruse the various wines. The young clerk got all huffy when I didn’t express a desire for their most expensive bottle – and nearly exploded when she asked what I normally drink, and I told her (those $5 bins at the local liquor store do come in handy). So, I bought a couple of mid-range wines that she suggested and tried them once I got home – turned out, I actually liked my low-range wines better. Guess I’m just one of those “other” wine drinkers.
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Unfortunately, you’re right about snobbishness. And, judging others isn’t ever a good idea.
I agree. There are many very good wines that are reasonably priced. Anyway, everyone has different tastes. In my opinion, that’s what makes the world interesting. 😊
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Tonya, Bill and I are very happy to be living in the “other” Virginia!! I love your blogs…keep them coming.
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Virginia is a lovely place for many reasons.
That’s such a nice thing to say about my blog! I’m so happy you enjoy it. Many thanks, Ann. 😊💗
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Beautiful photos. That clerks comment would have brought me up short but it sounds so funny. From your photos that “other” Virginia looks pretty nice. 🙂
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That’s very kind, Deborah! Thank you. 🙂 🐓
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You are welcome. 🙂
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Whew . . . I can see why you found it a little disconcerting. She sounds very narrow-minded.
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Yes, it’s a bit ironic. She’s supposed to be from what some refer to as the “progressive” area of the state. Thank you for reading and commenting, Sheryl. 🙂
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The photos of your “home” just scream generations of loving, that’s what your home is. “Bless your heart,” isn’t that a wonderful saying? I’m from Texas and totally get what it means. xoxo
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That’s really nice! Thank you.
“Bless your heart” is definitely a wonderful saying. 😉 💕
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Lovely photos, Tonya! It’s ‘interesting’ how people’s insecurities, biases, and bewildering comments seem to appear from nowhere, isn’t it? I am still learning how to ‘gracefully’ understand and know it is never about the person who it is being said to; rather, always about the person giving their ‘two-cents’. By the way, I know I’ve said this before, but I utterly love your photos and they always make me feel such calmness. I am so grateful to be following your blog, Tonya! Cher xo
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A heartfelt thank you for your lovely and kind comment, Cher. I think you’re exactly right about those “bewildering” comments people make. It’s a lesson I’ve struggled with my whole life; however, with age, I’ve learned to let go more easily.
Cher, your words about my blog really moved me. I so appreciate your positive feedback. I’m grateful to know intelligent, creative, and wonderful people like you and many of the other bloggers I follow. Thanks so much! 😊💛 xoxo
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Why thank you so much for your wonderful words, Tonya! I too struggle with the same thing; however, I really am trying to not let it bother me so baby steps! Ah, bless! Well thank you so much! Every time the busy city gets to me, it is awesome to know I can look at your blog and have an instant calm feeling! Cher xoxo
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Thank you, Cher! 😊💛
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Ah, yes, and don’t think for a minute this is just an “American” problem. We’re in Ecuador now and heard the same from a person living here about others in the country. You are so right: a little tolerance and civility would go a long way.
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Thank you for your thoughtful and enlightening comment. I appreciate your taking time to read this post.
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First of all this educated me. I’m European (English by birth, French by adoption) and we have our own crosses to bear and like so many we don’t really get the nuances on this continent. I have set myself the task of REALLY learning the USA and your short piece taught me more than I have learned in weeks of trawling books and articles so thank you. Second. It is so sad. Parochial behavior is the root of so much that goes wrong in this world and i think this was a great example. You dealt with the insular bigotry with such class and style and i am VERY happy to be connected to you. I would not, perhaps be so triumphant if the lady concerned was my connection because sadly she is missing a number of points. Which your readers do not need me to explain.
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Thank you for your kind and supportive comment. You make a great point about this sort of thing happening everywhere. If only we could all realize that our similarities outweigh our differences. Many thanks for your thoughtful feedback, Osyth. 😊
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You are more a lady than she. I have met, and dealt, with all kinds. I find that snobbery isn’t limited to the rich and elegant, I’ve met quite a few poor and unsophisticated snobs as well. I will say, you treated her more graciously than I would have; but, to be sure, I would have left her scratching her head, wondering if she had been insulted. 😉
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You are kind, and your comment about snobbery is very accurate.
I only wish I could come up with the perfect thing to say in the “heat of the moment.” 😉
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It’s a knack, I’ve known people who are great at it, I can do it most of the time, but not always
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🙂
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I’m a pretty patient person with a very long fuse. There isn’t much that can set me off but disrespect, intolerance an attitude of superiority always lights the match. I have no use for that kind of mentality. It’s the kind of ignorance that is difficult to change because it seems to be ingrained into someone’s core. You handled it much better than I would have. Your home is the kind of place is she’ll never really understand or experience.
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Yes, I was fairly annoyed when I left the gallery. Unfortunately, this woman’s attitude is one that I’ve come across more than once while visiting this area in the past year. It’s ironic, because many folks in this part of the state view themselves as progressive and tolerant; however, it would seem that they’re really only tolerant of things which they find acceptable.
That is really nice. Thank you, George. 😊
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Hi Farm Girl! Mercy, it’s been waaaaay too long since I visited! Yep, that woulda been the time for her to clamp her jaw shut, and just smile and nod! (I’m guessing you left without one of her “other” paintings????)
CAmellia’s Cottage sent me here, and boy am I glad! I had forgotten all about you. And for that, I apologize.
Congrats on your Blogger Recognition Award!
Melinda
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Hello Melinda! I’m so happy you visited again! You guessed right…no painting purchase that day. 😉
Thanks so much for your wonderful comment! I just love Camellia’s Cottage. She was kind to nominate my blog for the award. Welcome back!! 😊💜
Tonya
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You’re welcome, Tonya!
She is a doll!
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😊
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Beautiful pictures Tonya!! We can’t wait to see you guys and the “Other” Virginia this weekend!!
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Thanks a bunch, Melody. You’re funny! We’re really looking forward to it as well!! See you soon! 😊💛
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I’m with you girl, manners and civility – thank you for posting this!
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting! 😊🌻
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It shows the difference between you two – you simply chose to smile and walk away with your head held high.
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Prajakta. Sometimes it’s better to smile….and save one’s breath.
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The photos were beautiful and I enjoyed the story.
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Thank you, John. I’m happy you visited.
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